New York Headline: “Pope Gives God Two Weeks Notice” + Irreverent Tweets

February 12, 2013


  • Only retiring for three days, then make massive comeback around Easter… —Paul Carter
  • Check from George Lucas finally cleared. —Edward Wagner
  • He’s converting to Judaism. —Brian Durocher
  • Too pooped to pope. —Sue Malinowski
  • Tired of being on his knees all the time.. ­—Tracy Hogben
  • God made him do it. —Matthew Coldrick
  • His fake girlfriend had leukemia! —Christian García
  • Go Daddy looking at him for new commercial with Bar Refaeli.—Brian Bergman
  • Conducting a hostile takeover of Pope’s Pizza in Saratoga Springs. —Patrick Pipino
  • He gave up popehood for Lent? —Michele TheSituation Harris
  • So when the Pope gives two weeks notice, that means he’s like a lame duck president, right? —@mahnameiskayla
  • Betty White offered him things on Twitter that he couldn’t turn down. —Mike Phillips
  • Sick of being harassed by the Bravo execs to be the next target for total outfit makeover by amateur designers on “Project Runway.” —Sean Breen
  • Reports surfaced that the Pope never received his first Holy Communion as a child. —Derek Griffin
  • Guys, the Pope is RE-SIGNING. Three year deal, incentive-heavy language. —@John_Briggs
  • Wanted to marry his favorite nun. —Lorraine Hetman Sheffer
  • Really meant to announce that he is retiring for the night. Damn Twitter…. —Steven Conklin
  • He will replace Nikki Minaj on the next season of American Idol. —Matthew Coldrick
  • He tested positive for Viagra. —Gregg Henderson
  • Starting a new reality TV show- “Daily Confessions.” —Diane Hillerich
  • He watched George Carlin’s stand-up routine on religion and now he’s an atheist.—Joe Fliss
  • Ain’t nobody got time for that. —Stacey Duffy Walker
  • Katy Perry made him do it or I should say Katy Perry’s GIRLS on the Grammy’s did it —Mike Keane
  • The one that shut the lights off at the Super Bowl … Ultimate sin. –Fred Calhoun
  • Last years Oktoberfest pics are coming to light. –Sean Bridgeford
  • Does not want to continue wearing white after Labor Day. –James King
  • I’m happy for the #Pope. Maybe now he can finally settle down, find a nice woman, start a family. —@PaulMSnyder

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